What is Attachment Play?

Have you ever noticed how a simple game of peek-a-boo, a silly song or a shared giggle can completely change a child's mood?

These little moments might seem insignificant, but they can play an important role in building relationships, developing trust and helping children feel safe and understood.

As an Early Years SENCo and Makaton Tutor, I’m passionate about understanding what helps children communicate, connect and thrive.

Alongside my work, I’m currently diving into my second year studying Psychology at university, and attachment is one of the areas we've been exploring this term.

It has really got me thinking about something we can sometimes overlook in our busy environments and even at home with our families too...

The power of play in building relationships!

What is attachment play?

Attachment play is all about using playful interactions to strengthen the connection between a child and a trusted adult.

It isn't about expensive toys, complicated activities or getting children to achieve a particular outcome.

It's about spending time together, sharing enjoyment and creating opportunities for positive interactions.

Think bubbles, silly faces, copying a child's movements, singing favourite songs, playing peek-a-boo or simply following a child's lead during play.

The magic is often in the interaction itself.

Why does connection matter?

Psychologist John Bowlby's attachment theory highlights the importance of children's early relationships with their caregivers. Responsive, consistent relationships can help children develop a sense of security and confidence as they explore the world around them.

When we think about this in Early Years, it reminds us that children are not simply learning letters, numbers, routines and new skills. They are also learning about relationships, trust, communication and how to navigate their emotions.

For some children, particularly those who find communication, transitions or social interaction challenging, building that connection may need extra time, patience and understanding.

And this is where playful interactions can offer wonderful opportunities.

Making attachment play part of everyday life

The lovely thing about attachment play is that you don't need to set aside an hour or buy a whole new box of resources. Small moments throughout the day can provide opportunities to connect.

 Follow their lead. Join in with what interests the child rather than always directing the activity.

 Copy and connect. Mirror their actions, sounds or movements to create a playful back-and-forth interaction.

 Make communication fun. Use bubbles, songs, anticipation games and familiar routines to encourage interaction in ways that work for each child.

 Bring in Makaton. Pair meaningful signs with speech during songs, games and everyday interactions, helping make communication more accessible.

 Enjoy the moment. Let go of the pressure to produce something or achieve a particular outcome. Sometimes, simply enjoying time together is enough.

Remember, connection looks different for every child. We should always respect individual preferences, sensory needs and personal boundaries.

What about children who find connection difficult?

Not every child will rush over to join a game, seek out an adult or respond in the way we might expect.

Some children need time to observe before joining in.

Others may prefer parallel play, movement-based activities or interactions that do not require eye contact or spoken language.

Rather than seeing this as a problem to fix, we can become curious about what helps that individual child feel comfortable.

Could we reduce the demands?

Use a familiar activity?

Offer a visual cue?

Introduce a favourite song?

Give them more time to respond?

Our aim isn't to make every child interact in the same way.

It's to create opportunities for meaningful connection that respect who they are.

Connection before correction

When a child is struggling, it can be tempting to focus immediately on the behaviour we want to change.

But taking a moment to consider the child's experience can help us respond more thoughtfully.

Are they overwhelmed?

Are they finding it difficult to communicate what they need?

Do they need reassurance, time or support from a familiar adult?

Play is not a solution to every difficulty, and it doesn't replace appropriate boundaries or individualised support. However, warm, responsive interactions can help nurture the relationships that underpin children's wellbeing and development.

A little reminder from Sign and Bloom

We often spend so much time thinking about what we need to teach children that we can forget the importance of how we connect with them.

A shared laugh. A familiar song. A moment of understanding. An adult who notices, responds and makes time to play.

These moments matter.

At Sign and Bloom, we believe communication is about so much more than words. It's about connection, understanding and helping every child feel that they have a voice and a place where they belong.

So, the next time you're playing with a child, try taking a step back from the learning objective and simply enjoy being alongside them.

You might be surprised by what that little moment of connection can open up.

Because before we can expect children to learn alongside us, we need to give them opportunities to connect with us.